Make race car noises when people get on and off.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other
passengers.
Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up
dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"
Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
Shave.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got
enough air in there?"
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear your upside-down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without
getting off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then
act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them
to call you "Admiral."
One word: Flatulence!
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open
until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the
bottom.
Do Tai Chi exercises.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce:
"I've got new socks on."
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now,
damn motion sickness!"
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
Meow occasionally.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.
Holler, "Chutes away!!" whenever the elevator descends.
Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of
THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Burp, then say, "Mmmmm.....tasty!"
Leave a box between the doors.
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.
Start a sing-along.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
Play the accordion.
Shadow box.
Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
Lean against the button panel.
Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers that this is your "personal space."
Bring a chair along.
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh
mouf??"
Blow spit bubbles.
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
Carry a blanket a clutch it protectively.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."
If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "BAD TOUCH!"
complacent
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